Love & Coffee

So today Colin and I went to visit the place where we first made love! It was in a branch of Colonic Coffee in Likasi (formerly Jadotville), Zaïre.

Colin had shut up shop for the night, and we spread a cloth over one of the tables. I lay back and he worked his magic on me! Let me tell you, there is something so magical about the Zaïrean way of making love. It’s… unreal. Intense. Go out and find yourself an available man from Zaïre! Give it a go! There's dozens of them!

In other news, we’ve bought a pelican! Yeah, got it real cheap from this guy who was selling his entire estate to Disney. Apparently they want to establish a concentration camp on the site or something. Weird world! Almost as bad as Starbucks’s slave camps in Ohio! Whoops… did I blab!!

Colin is my key into the coffee world.

xxx

Rebecca Has Arrived

Hey there!

Remember me? I was the girl who refused to go out with Harold Pumiceous in the 238,818th edition of the highly unsuccessful novel, A Postmodern Belch.

So... what's been happening with me? Yeah, not much! Got back with Colin (remember... my coffee tycoon husband from Zaïre?) Yeah, we're living in a new caravan now in Sumpton-Upon-Beef. Here's our new home:


Yeah, it's modest, I know... but it'll do for us just now! My bedroom is to the right of that window and the en suite bath is right outside the door, in that brown-coloured puddle there. We take regular swims (and naughty baths)!

Anyway, welcome to my website! I'll be blogging regularly on everything that happens in my life, so please read on a semi-regular basis and keep Harold away!

Love for you and hate for Harold,

Becca xxx